Not long ago, the dilemmas on most parent's minds involved driving, alcohol and dating. Well, it's a new age and with it we have new fears, and one of the main questions now is, at what age should I allow my child to have a mobile phone? The mobile, after all, has become a rite of passage for most pre-teens.
But unlike drinking, driving and sex, there are no legal guidelines as to when you should allow your kids to have a phone. This leaves the decision solely in your hands, and you have to choose between your kid hating you for ruining their social life and protecting them from the threats and trauma that you know can come with mobiles.
The Reality
The reality is, the age for getting your child their first mobile phone has gone down significantly in the last decade. According to Honest Mobile, the average age when a child get a smartphone is eleven years old and a survey of over 2000 children in 2020 by Childwise indicated that over 50% of 7 year olds owned their own mobile.
In reality, whether your child has a mobile or not, access to touch screen technology starts at a very early age. Its very common today to find a pre-schooler with their face buried inside an iPad at home or in a cafe. As parents become busier, mobile devices become an easy way to distract a child and keep them in line while mum and dad work.
Reasons for Getting a Mobile Phone for Your Child
Granted, technology has brought a host of benefits to our fingertips. Today, kids can do school research on their tablets, play educational games and learn new tricks to handle complicated subjects. There is also the added social benefits – at a time when Covid has restricted who we can see, maintaining social contacts for a child is vitally important.
But one of main reasons why parents of 12-14-year-olds buy their kids a mobile phone is security. Kids at this age are somewhat independent, so they are free to visit their friends, walk or ride to school alone and attend extracurricular activities without their parents hanging around. However, parents want to know that if that child gets into any trouble, they can call for help immediately. Parents also want to be able to reach their kids when they are away.
And if these reasons are not convincing, no doubt your child will be running the heartfelt argument about how all of their friends have mobile phones, and you depriving them of one will result in them being ostracised from their group. In fairness, research generally backs up this claim.
The Dangers of Mobile Devices to Children
But despite all the advantages of getting kids a phone, experts are still rallied against it. James P. Steyer, CEO of Common Sense Media, an organization that reviews content and media products for families, has very strict rules for his own family, the late Apple co-founder Steve Jobs had the same rule for his kids, especially concerning Apple products and so did Microsoft former CEO, Bill Gates. If you think about it, there is a reason why the people who helped make these digital devices don’t want their kids using them until they get to a certain age.
Some of these reasons include;
Lack of Personal Restraint
The amount of time that a child spends on technology varies but a report by Childwise in 2015 indicated that children spent over 6 hours a day glued to a screen (admittedly not just mobiles) with HonestMobile indicating that the average child spends 2 hours a day on their actual phones.
Besides the massive time wastage, the Canadian Paediatric Society warns that children ages 5-12 are more vulnerable to the negative outcomes of heavy screen use, such as depressive symptoms and anxiety.
Dopamine Addiction
Dopamine is a feel-good neurotransmitter triggered by exciting things such as shopping, chocolate, sex, winning and exercise. But a rush of dopamine can also be triggered by mobile use, especially social media, YouTube and games.
According to child and family psychiatrist Michael Cheng, exposing young children to smartphones wires their brain to crave easy dopamine. Instead of going out to play or doing something productive, kids reach for their phones to get that feel-good hit, because it's easy, and it's instant.
Cyberbullying
According to the office for national statistics:
nearly 20% of children aged between 10-15 have been subject to some form of cyber bullying (that is over 750000 children);
the most common form of bullying was name calling;
of that figure, over 70% indicated that the bullying involved someone from their school;
20% of children were subject to cyber bullying at least 1-2 times a week;
7 out of 10 children stated that the bullying emotionally impacted them.
Now, while any form of bullying is bad, online bullying seems to cause more psychological trauma to kids than physical bullying. Online bullies hide behind social media to traumatize and destroy their peers and even go as far as posting humiliating pictures and videos online for the whole world to see.
Sexual Harassment and Trafficking
Last but not least, mobiles expose kids to a vast array of inappropriate content. The Internet Watch Foundation reported 2021 as its worst year yet when it comes to child sexual abuse online. Internet grooming of kids under ten years has surged threefold during the pandemic, with over 252,000 URLs containing videos of kids being sexually abused.
While writing her book, “The Boogeyman Exists: And He’s in Your Child’s Back Pocket,” Jesse Weinberger surveyed 70,000 children and found that, on average, kids begin sexting in year 6 (10-11 years old).
So when should you give your child a mobile?
Parents have the mandate to access their child’s readiness before giving them a mobile phone. And if you can’t quite settle the chatter in your head, here are come questions to ask yourself;
Does your child need a mobile? If your child is trying the “all my friends have them” argument then speak to other parents and ascertain what they have done/agreed so that you can align yourselves;
How responsible is the child? Do they follow rules, take care of their belongings and behave responsibly in general? Can you trust them to use their device appropriately and at the right time? Have a discussion with your child about this before making the decision;
Does the child understand safety issues relating to mobile phones? They need to be old enough to understand the dangers of having a phone. If they can't comprehend what you are saying when you talk about cyberbullying, hacking, fraud, and sexual harassment, then they are not old enough to have one;
Does the child understand the cost of a phone? Mobiles come in different plans, from unlimited to monthly charges. Your child needs to know that talking on the phone, sending messages, and browsing costs money and be responsible about it.
Ultimately, the exact age you decide to give your child a mobile is up to you. Do not let other people or a standard dictate when you do it. Trust your instincts and talk to them about the issue often until you feel they are ready for such a big responsibility.
And if they have a mobile…..
If you are letting your child mobile phone then there are inevitably some steps you can take to help them be responsible and limit the risks. These include:
Set a cap on data usage so that they cannot over use (and you don’t get any unexpected bill surprises;
Use software/phone settings to limit content access especially to areas such as gambling or pornography;
Set some rules including how long they can use it and what apps they are allowed to have. You should also consider when they can use it, for example, what happens when they go to bed?
Educate your child especially on areas such as cyber bullying and sexting;
Buy a cheap phone and make sure it has a case – child can be very clumsy and phones are not cheap!
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